Imagine the scene...your team has just lost its first two games in the World Cup Group stages. You need to win your last game to pass through to the last sixteen. The coach has come under fire, and the players are demoralised, but you know things can be turned around. From the jaws of defeat you will bring your country to glory!

Five games separate you from victory - a victory you have until now only dreamt of (unless you're French of course). Here is your chance to avenge the insult your country has suffered in not being allowed to prove its status as the best footballing country in the world.

All those unfair reasons which led to your nation's claim being usurped by pretenders to the football throne will now be removed, and justice will prevail -No more blind referees! No more bottles thrown onto the pitch distracting your goalkeeper at vital moments! No more of deciding a game of skill on penalties! No more paddy fields for pitches! No more female streakers...ok, those can remain then.

(Since your team wears blue, it would be ideal if you're pretending to be Italy, Japan, Scotland, or...um...France...again.)

But in bizarre circumstances, the Jules Rimet trophy has been renamed the Scufo Cup. Even more bizarrely, the competition rules have been changed to make it 4-a-side football...ok, if that's too hard to believe, then just imagine for every game 7 players from each team get involved in a mass brawl on the pitch and then get sent off. So, play through the last Group game, the Last 16, the Quarter-Finals, the Semi-Finals, and if you make it that far, the Final...